Megan Kelly’s Boregasm

The FOX Presidential Game Show, er, Debate-In case you missed it

Set aside the jeopardy-style set, the faux debate was really just the same rotation of banality and insipid pseudo-insanity and populist paranoia cartoonized by no-nothing idiots Will you cut the EPA, department of education and the IRS? Is Climate Change anti-American. Blah=blah-blah. kel

Huckabee decries the “donor class” even as he and the rest of them are on their knees, mouths open, ready to catch a load from millionaires and billionaires: Walker and the Kochs, Cruz and his wealthy friends, one of whom gave $5 million(Because he just cares about America for you and me, right?) Jeb Bush and Saudi Arabia…They are all sucking at the appendage of the donor class, Huck!

Carson believes we should all tithe like in the bible. Here that Jews, Muslims, Buddhists? You are no bound by Carson’s bible. Dear god, Carson is whiter than me!

Bush was for getting a cohesive national standard for education abolished, because Texas teaching dinosaurs and cowboys living together, and that slavery had nothing to do with the Civil War should be left up to the state. Utah should teach kids we all came from a planet in space consistent with Mormon teaching, while Alabama teaches Christianity, or bans Mark Twain because he was anti-war. How about this, Mississippi can’t afford to teach their kids, but Illinois can, creating a system of have and have nots.

And Huckabee giving constitutional rights to a fetus. It all sounds wonderfully merciful and godly)nothing in the bible about abortion) but the end game means criminalizing the mother. If she gives herself an abortion she’s a murderer.

Find its way into every answer. WAR! More War! And Really more war! Check please, Raytheon, GE, Northrop and war industry.

Can we now start calling Jeb Bush, stuttering Jeb? Uh, eh, er, oh, eh…

Most often heard phrase, from everyone…”I’m the only guy on this stage who…”

Thanks to Donald Trump for bringing the immigration issue to the nation’s attention…a month ago…because no one had been talking about it constantly, except everybody on every channel constantly for, oh, since the Reagan Administration! Trump called the border “Medieval Times.” Have you ever been to Medieval Times? Love their ribs!

And Mark Rubio, who’s hair was brought to us by a grant from Exxon-Mobil sounds like he is in a high school, debate club. I keep waiting for him to start crying, or shout “Spartans rule!”

Wow, and then someone invoked Carly Fiorina for her negotiating skills regarding the Iran issue, because she did so well running Hewlett Packard…off a cliff. Scott Walker, however, would throw out the Iran deal in 2 years, regardless of whether it worked by then or not be cause of the Iran hostages in 1979. He realizes of course that we do business with Germany after WW2, and Japan, Spain and England, both of whom we fought far bloodier conflicts with, or Canada after they invaded us in the 18th Century, and Mexico, oh, also Vietnam!

Finally, we should protect human life at all stages of life. According to Rubio, that’s called the constitution. And Trump, who favored choice and an assault weapons ban, who is now pro-life and wants AK-47s in every classroom! I’m more pro-life than you. No I am I believe in full constitutional rights at birth. I believe it’s a baby when you and the wife decide to pork…And I believe life begins when you club the woman over the head just before dragging her back to the cave.

The candidates on gay marriage: I believe in unconditional love. That said, I have some conditions…

On Black Lives matter: Scott Walker wants to retrain all of America’s police officers, sounding like a liberal . Huckabee says all lives matter. Carson says if the police tell you to bend over for no reason anywhere at anytime, you must comply because We vill march to Sudetenland, und then Czechoslovakia and , Seig Heil! Seig…

To recap: This wasn’t a debate. This was a special edition of the Megan Kelly show. It was the same tired stupidity we hear over and over on FOX News. No one debated. There was no rebuttal, back and forth, it was all “what do you think?” it was playground children going, “I would totally throw a huge bomb at their head using a secret Jurassic park giant Pterodactyl!”

According to Ted Cruz, Iran, China, Russia, ISIS, and damn near everyone is our enemy. Who isn’t our enemy according to these simps. Walker wants to draw a line in the sand at the Czech Republic. What? Huckabee, “the purpose of the military is to kill people and break things. we have to remember what the military is for, he says. Exactly, the military is for making Huckabee’s pals in corporate boardrooms wealthy at the expense of the heads, arms and legs of our soldiers, sorry, our heroes!

“It’s worth noting that Iran released our hostages the day Ronald Reagan took office.” Yeah, because they got fucking paid in a deal Oliver North plead the 5th on and Reagan couldn’t remember.

Finally, Kelly wanted to know who heard directly from god. Well, Ted Cruz, yup! “Scripture tells us you shall know them by their fruits.” Well we saw some fruits on stage tonight. Kasich couldn’t answer the question and was struck by lightening in one of the show’s more dramatic moments. Walker hasn’t spoken directly to god, but he has been “washed by the blood of Jesus Christ.” Then Megan wanted to know what Marco Rubio thought about” God and our veterans.” Ben Carson wants us all to be Christians.

In closing, Kasich says, there is reason to hope again in Ohio. Has he been to Ohio? Christie fought terrorists in New Jersey. Rand Paul is a different kind of republican; bigger better meatier, bolder-Viagra. Marco Rubio will make a greater America greater, and he was poorer than the poorest church mouse. Ted Cruz will spend his first term watching Planned Parenthood videos and being really angry because he’s Cuban! Carson will fight for freedom because it isn’t free. What is the market rate on freedom these days? I’ll give you a buck eighty-two. Huckabee will bring us all to god. Scott Walker turned Wisconsin around and made it 21st in income, above Alabama, Arkansas, Guam and American Samoa, or 23rd in life expectancy behind even Florida with the trifecta of deaths by aging, Spring break mishaps and alligator attacks. And Bush will make it easier through cutting regulations for corporations to make even more money. And the Donald thinks we aren’t winners. We’ll have to beat Mexico, Japan and China. I will wear a suit made of American flags!

To sum up:

Listen Saturday’s from 11am-1pm to WC Turck, Brian Murray and guests on Chicago’s real alternative media, AM1680, Q4 radio, streaming at
CAM00236WC Turck is an author, artist, playwright and talk radio host in Chicago. He has been called the most dangerous voice on the Left. His new book “A Tragic Fate: is an unflinching look at the events leading up to the shooting down of Malaysia Air Flight 17.” His first novel, “Broken” was recommended by NAMI for its treatment of PTSD. In 2006 he published “Everything for Love,” a memoir of his experiences during the siege of Sarajevo. He wrote and produced two critically acclaimed plays, “Occupy my Heart” and “The People’s Republic of Edward Snowden.” He works with the homeless and foreclosure victims in Chicago. He partners in a weekly radio show dedicated to issues, society and politics with cohost, activist and artist Brian Murray For more information, past shows, videos and articles, visit

The Illinois Policy Institute (IPI) is a conservative think tank with offices in Chicago and Springfield, Illinois, and member of the State Policy Network. IPI is a member of the American Legislative Exchange Council (ALEC) as of 2011. IPI is also a member of ALEC’s Health and Human Services Task Force and Education Task Force. Senior Budget and Tax Policy Analyst, Amanda Griffin-Johnson, presented model legislation (the “State Employee Health Savings Account Act”) to the HHS task force at ALEC’s 2011 annual meeting.[4] Collin Hitt, Director of Education Policy, is a private sector member of the Education Task Force representing IPI. He sponsored the “Local Government Transparency Act” at the ALEC 2011 States and Nation Policy Summit. In its 2006 annual report the Cato Institute states that it made a grant of $50,000 to the Illinois Policy Institute. The Cato Institute is a libertarian think tank founded by Charles G. Koch and funded by the Koch brothers.

Use Facebook to Comment on this Post

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>