Oliver the Cat: Rough draft from my new novel featuring Sid Yiddish

FORWARD: The story is about a talking cat who sets out on a journey of self discovery

Having a voice is like, and I know this is crude, but it’s like pissing. If you never had to take a piss it wouldn’t matter, but once you do that pressure is going to build until it comes out. As satisfying as it is to relieve that pressure, it is arguable whether or not it has done anything for the rest of the world. Still, I was bursting. I longed for the philosophical conversations with Dave or in Maggie’s warm voice. In the cold dead of night, trying to divert my thoughts from the cold, I would blather away more or less coherently to Gray and White, though she hadn’t a clue nor really cared what I was talking about. Still, just to hear myself, like some sort of urban Robinson Carusoe, I’d talk politics, muse about nothing, recap events of the day or talk about the weather, anything to keep my mind active. I might have even improvised a poem or two, but it still wasn’t enough. I might as well have been on a desert island, talking to a soccer ball with a dirty palm print for a face!

One icy cold morning during a foray to the deli dumpster I noticed a curious character at the bus stop across the street. I should preface that. He was odd, not so much that he was strange looking, relatively speaking, but more that it was far too cold for anyone to spend much time in one place. And yet, the fellow was sort of slouched on the bench, like a rag doll someone had tossed there; a somewhat plump rag doll.

At his feet was a hopelessly worn black backpack with ancient anmd tattered airline tags still attached to one strap. His tennis shoes, stretched to the limits by layered sports stockings were so weathered and filthy that I thought he might be homeless. He was surrounded in a thick blue workman’s insulated coveralls and an even bulkier green ski jacket with a faux-fur lined hood that was bunched behind his head. The jacket was open. The zipper no longer worked.
A knit cap hid most of his brow. It was an oddly unnatural shade of light brown, and left only his scraggly grey beard and red nose exposed to the frigid morning air. I wasn’t immediately certain that shade of brown even existed in nature. His eyes were lost to the shadows beneath the hat. I was reminded of a forlorn and even brooding garden gnome fallen on hard times. There was a sympathetic air about him that drew me curiously to the edge of the street.

A well dressed woman sat beside him, briefly fishing for something from a handbag. The fellow seemed bothered by her presence, perhaps by the juxtaposition of their circumstance, or from something else. I watched with infinite delight as he leaned back to eye the woman up and down with obvious disapproval, but with a sense of innocence and whimsy, which the woman, momentarily taking note countered with a grimace that belied ultimate disgust.

Refusing to be condescended to he pulled out a can of sardines, picking out the oily canned fish without removing his mittens. He held it out, dangling it in the frigid air between them, thick droplets of yellow oil falling to the bench between them. He offered it to the woman, though through the tangle of beard and mustache it was impossible to make out his mouth. With a thoroughly horrified look, the woman stood fled from the bench. As he downed the sardine I saw him smile with supreme satisfaction.

I laughed, catching myself a bit should someone notice, and He was perfect. Not perfect, but the perfect person for my needs. I was desperate for some conversation and who would believe this character if he said he’d been chatting with a talking cat? By the looks of him most folks would believe he had frequent conversations with talking cats, not to mention stop signs, space aliens and aquarium fish!

Traffic was heavy and slow along Adams Street. I waited for the light and traffic to stop then sprang from behind a newspaper box, between the forest of legs along the sidewalk and into the street. Without breaking stride I cleared the street, past a taxi cab and beneath a newspaper delivery truck in barely six long leaps. I leapt onto the bench beside him and gave a long loud sigh. He looked down at me for a moment, then drew a sardine from the can and laid it down on the bench between us.

“Go ahead, little, fella,” he said. “You must be starved.”

“Actually, no, I began. “Well a bit. I actually came over to meet you.”

He downed another sardine as if it was a normal thing to hear a talking cat. “Okay, well that’s odd.”

“Don’t be alarmed,” I said quietly. I cleared my throat. “You’re not crazy; I really am a talking cat.”

“You say that like it’s a bad thing,” he replied sort of deadpan.

“Well, not something I’m sure you run into everyday.”

“How do you know, we just met.”

I nodded and cocked my head to one side. I liked him instantly.

“Sorry. I shouldn’t assume,” I said.

“Besides, do I look that crazy?”

I didn’t know what to say to that. Niceties, I always thought were for people, not cats. Cats speak their mind.

“Seriously?” I replied.

“What does that mean?” he complained.

“Honestly, I picked you, you’re, well, sort of, you have to admit… you’re different.”

“Different?” he exclaimed, half mordantly. He raised both hands like a preacher and said aloud, “The talking cat says I’m different!”

“Sshh, hey,” I said urgently, “keep it down.”

“Relax, your secret is safe. I’m Sid, Sid Yiddish.”

“Yiddish. Like…?”

“I’m a Jew. You’re not one of those anti-Semite cats?”

I’m a cat. I’m not pro or anti-anything!”

“And you are?’

“I’m a cat!”

“No, what’s your name?” he frowned somewhere beneath that beard.

“Oh, gosh, I’m Oliver.”

He stood and slung the beat up and totally overstuffed backpack over one shoulder. “My bus is coming. I wish we had more time to talk.”

“Yeah, me too,” I said with a notable measure of disappointment.

“Where do you live,” asked Sid as the bus slowed to a stop. He set down the can of sardines beside me. “Maybe we could meet for a…for milk.”

“Um, uh, I’m just sort of a stray at the moment.”

The bus door opened with a hiss. The driver looked at Sid with some annoyance as he hesitated in the door.

“I’ll be here tomorrow, same time. Come earlier, we’ll chat.”

Sid climbed into the bus. The driver looked around trying to see who Sid was speaking with. Sid noted the man’s perplexed expression and motioned in my direction. “It’s okay, he’s my friend.”

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Why Donald Trump is just Dreamy

I have decided to dump Bernie Sanders and take up the fight to elect Donald Trump. Let’s face it, Trump is America. He represents most of America, and isn’t that what being president is all about? A man of the people. Since most people in the country watch “The Apprentice,” “Duck Dynasty” or “Houswives of # City,” than watch the news or read books, Trump is the candidate for the 21st Century. Besides, compared with the others, except Scott Walker, the Koch brothers Zygote Android.koch

Let’s face it, Bernie Sanders, just wants to talk about boring old issues like student debt crippling the economy, corporate welfare, race relations, the economy: Yaaaaaaawwwwnnnnn! Where is the entertainment value in that? There isn’t any, and the Americans people demand to be entertained; relentlessly, endlessly, unstoppably entertained. Give the people what they want. They want YV, they want a reality show (that isn’t really reality) and they want Trump!

Trump is surging in a new NBC poll ahead of Thursday’s FOX News totally unbiased debate, which is being marketed by the way as a Reality TV show, with faux controversy, scripted arguments and false news releases about the very Blond and Perky Megan Kelly (Will we be able to see her legs, or will she hide them behind a desk, and will she cross and uncross them for us a few times-there must be a vagina in there somewhere.) picking on Donald Trump. Host, Kelly is the moderator, Rudy Giuliani swears it isn’t true. A Trump spokesperson responded with a long tense moment of lingering silence.

I’ll be watching. I wouldn’t miss it for a million bucks. I want to hear every crystalline syllable fall from the Donald’s mouth. Don, what would you do about abortion after Roe vs Wade, which made a woman’s right to choose a constitutionally protected right? Shall back alley abortions, or self induces abortions result in felony manslaughter or homicide? How do we monitor every woman in America? (Maybe ISIS and the Saudis can be instructive here) What do we do with Mexicans, except the ones you import to work in your businesses and on the lawns of your many homes? Would you bomb Iran, even if they comply with the latest agreement your first day in office. What about those Europeans poisoning America with all their socialism? Isn’t healthcare a privilege? School is a privilege for those who can afford it, right? How else will the American worker compete against low skilled, low wage Mexican immigrants if we don’t invest in creating a new generation of low paid American workers? And all of the Christian, god fearing oil companies and frackers; American was built on oil (Also slavery, wagonry and drowning witches), shouldn’t we ban all of that obnoxious green energy stuff stealing profits from our oil and gas heroes? China’s gonna pay, and Russia and Mexico, and Canada I’m looking at you too. What kind of country has a Maple Leaf for a national symbol. Our eagle will crap on your leaf (Beat chest and holler here)!

Honestly, when was the last time a president of the United States of America had the guts to flip someone off at a press conference, or grab his package, or pick a media insult fight with a woman? Aren’t we all tied of people with manners and decorum? Time for someone just as thoughtless and boorish as much of the rest of the nation. Books are for fags. That’s right I said fags, because I can in Trump America. Respect for others is for sissies, and the feminists, teachers and scientists have made American men sissies and queers. Trump will call in the national guard and stop all that, god willing!

My hope is that with Donald as president we can streamline the nation. The courts and the laws are for losers: You’re fired!(Canned laughter) We can get rid of that cumbersome bureaucracy congress and just go to dial in numbers for laws at the end of the ultimate TV reality show “Donald goes to Washington.” Now that’s must see TV.trump-combover


Listen Saturday’s from 11am-1pm to WC Turck, Brian Murray and guests on Chicago’s real alternative media, AM1680, Q4 radio, streaming at www.que4.org.
CAM00236WC Turck is an author, artist, playwright and talk radio host in Chicago. He has been called the most dangerous voice on the Left. His new book “A Tragic Fate: is an unflinching look at the events leading up to the shooting down of Malaysia Air Flight 17.” His first novel, “Broken” was recommended by NAMI for its treatment of PTSD. In 2006 he published “Everything for Love,” a memoir of his experiences during the siege of Sarajevo. He wrote and produced two critically acclaimed plays, “Occupy my Heart” and “The People’s Republic of Edward Snowden.” He works with the homeless and foreclosure victims in Chicago. He partners in a weekly radio show dedicated to issues, society and politics with cohost, activist and artist Brian Murray For more information, past shows, videos and articles, visit www.revolutioandbeer.com


The Illinois Policy Institute (IPI) is a conservative think tank with offices in Chicago and Springfield, Illinois, and member of the State Policy Network. IPI is a member of the American Legislative Exchange Council (ALEC) as of 2011. IPI is also a member of ALEC’s Health and Human Services Task Force and Education Task Force. Senior Budget and Tax Policy Analyst, Amanda Griffin-Johnson, presented model legislation (the “State Employee Health Savings Account Act”) to the HHS task force at ALEC’s 2011 annual meeting.[4] Collin Hitt, Director of Education Policy, is a private sector member of the Education Task Force representing IPI. He sponsored the “Local Government Transparency Act” at the ALEC 2011 States and Nation Policy Summit. In its 2006 annual report the Cato Institute states that it made a grant of $50,000 to the Illinois Policy Institute. The Cato Institute is a libertarian think tank founded by Charles G. Koch and funded by the Koch brothers.

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Walmart’s Fib: Breaking down a Meme

Oh the lies corporations tell thinking we are too dumb to do the math or connect the dots. The photo shows a meme, likely created by Walmart itself describing the terrible calamity that would befall this fragile company should they be forced to pay a livable, nay, survivable wage…in fucking America! Walmart is the world’s 18th largest public corporation, according to the Forbes Global 2000 list, and the largest public corporation when ranked by revenue.The numbers are a fraud. 1513655_653799021346897_501170280_n

The very generous averaging takes into account overseas workers, management, the Walton family, truck drivers, office and HR, all making more than min. wage. There are 825,000 making minimum wage, for just under $5 million more per hour. Full time at Walmart is 34.5 hours, not 40 or 45. That’s 6.9 average hours daily, for $34.5 million per day, not the fictitious $99 million. So we get easily to $12.63 billion annually, maintaining a profit of $4.17 billion. Now, let’s say those previously very poor and financially strained people, forced to make ends meet by applying for taxpayer paid food stamps to the sum of $6.2 billion annually (http://www.forbes.com/fdc/welcome_mjx.shtml), or 14,500 workers and family members spent just 20% of that raise at Walmart on food and clothing, that amounts to more than $4.5 billion in extra sales, plus we don’t have to pay to feed them. Walmart still somehow manages on a paltry $8.67 billion.

Now for the really interesting part. With an average sale of $68 Walmart did roughly6,5 billion sales transactions. An extra 25 cents per transaction adds another $1billion in annual sales. Okay, actually $970.6 million, but what’s $30 million among friends?…if they budget and clip coupons. As for the bullshit Walmart and corporate apologists are attempting to sell us; peddle that crap somewhere else!


Listen Saturday’s from 11am-1pm to WC Turck, Brian Murray and guests on Chicago’s real alternative media, AM1680, Q4 radio, streaming at www.que4.org.
CAM00236WC Turck is an author, artist, playwright and talk radio host in Chicago. He has been called the most dangerous voice on the Left. His new book “A Tragic Fate: is an unflinching look at the events leading up to the shooting down of Malaysia Air Flight 17.” His first novel, “Broken” was recommended by NAMI for its treatment of PTSD. In 2006 he published “Everything for Love,” a memoir of his experiences during the siege of Sarajevo. He wrote and produced two critically acclaimed plays, “Occupy my Heart” and “The People’s Republic of Edward Snowden.” He works with the homeless and foreclosure victims in Chicago. He partners in a weekly radio show dedicated to issues, society and politics with cohost, activist and artist Brian Murray For more information, past shows, videos and articles, visit www.revolutioandbeer.com


The Illinois Policy Institute (IPI) is a conservative think tank with offices in Chicago and Springfield, Illinois, and member of the State Policy Network. IPI is a member of the American Legislative Exchange Council (ALEC) as of 2011. IPI is also a member of ALEC’s Health and Human Services Task Force and Education Task Force. Senior Budget and Tax Policy Analyst, Amanda Griffin-Johnson, presented model legislation (the “State Employee Health Savings Account Act”) to the HHS task force at ALEC’s 2011 annual meeting.[4] Collin Hitt, Director of Education Policy, is a private sector member of the Education Task Force representing IPI. He sponsored the “Local Government Transparency Act” at the ALEC 2011 States and Nation Policy Summit. In its 2006 annual report the Cato Institute states that it made a grant of $50,000 to the Illinois Policy Institute. The Cato Institute is a libertarian think tank founded by Charles G. Koch and funded by the Koch brothers.

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Panicked Beer Review New Glarus’ Totally Naked Extra Pale Lager

The wife came home late from work the other night. She drinks wine. We manage to have a good relationship despite that shortcoming. She’d had an awful day at work. A glass of wine usually relaxes her. Still nursing the tail end of a summer cold, I was already headed for bed.

A week earlier, Deacon Coleman, a regular cohost on the Flabby Hoffman Radio Extravagonzo, heard Saturday’s 1-4pm on Que4 radio in Chicago, handed me a beer just as I was ending my show. He gets up to Wisconsin on a regular basis and is as much a fan of New Glarus beers as I am. As I shut off the mic Deacon said, “This is my favorite so far.”IMG_0031

High praise indeed, I thought. My plan was to review the beer Friday evening before the show, that is until the wife rounded the corner with my one single bottle of Totally Naked. She tipped it up and took a swig, stopping when she saw the horrified look on my face.

In a panic, before the head dissipated I quickly readied for an impromptu review. Made from imported Noble Hop varieties from the Czech Republic I found this beer one of the smoothest and most pleasing beers I have ever tasted. Pouring to a clean and clear golden hue with a snow white head, Totally Naked had a sweet, bready flavor. At41/4 ABV, this beer is very straightforward and casual enough to relax with, but imbued with enough depth for the true beer lover to fully enjoy.

Now, to get a lock box to keep the wife from looting my beer stash! And by the way, Deacon is taking over this week for Flabby Hoffman, in a very rare DEACON COLEMAN’S HOUR OF SPIRITUAL POWER.


Listen Saturday’s from 11am-1pm to WC Turck, Brian Murray and guests on Chicago’s real alternative media, AM1680, Q4 radio, streaming at www.que4.org.
CAM00236WC Turck is an author, artist, playwright and talk radio host in Chicago. He has been called the most dangerous voice on the Left. His new book “A Tragic Fate: is an unflinching look at the events leading up to the shooting down of Malaysia Air Flight 17.” His first novel, “Broken” was recommended by NAMI for its treatment of PTSD. In 2006 he published “Everything for Love,” a memoir of his experiences during the siege of Sarajevo. He wrote and produced two critically acclaimed plays, “Occupy my Heart” and “The People’s Republic of Edward Snowden.” He works with the homeless and foreclosure victims in Chicago. He partners in a weekly radio show dedicated to issues, society and politics with cohost, activist and artist Brian Murray For more information, past shows, videos and articles, visit www.revolutioandbeer.com


The Illinois Policy Institute (IPI) is a conservative think tank with offices in Chicago and Springfield, Illinois, and member of the State Policy Network. IPI is a member of the American Legislative Exchange Council (ALEC) as of 2011. IPI is also a member of ALEC’s Health and Human Services Task Force and Education Task Force. Senior Budget and Tax Policy Analyst, Amanda Griffin-Johnson, presented model legislation (the “State Employee Health Savings Account Act”) to the HHS task force at ALEC’s 2011 annual meeting.[4] Collin Hitt, Director of Education Policy, is a private sector member of the Education Task Force representing IPI. He sponsored the “Local Government Transparency Act” at the ALEC 2011 States and Nation Policy Summit. In its 2006 annual report the Cato Institute states that it made a grant of $50,000 to the Illinois Policy Institute. The Cato Institute is a libertarian think tank founded by Charles G. Koch and funded by the Koch brothers.

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